so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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