I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
