Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
the raccoons are back...
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