1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
