you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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