I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
