Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
