Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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