the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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