theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
