i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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