I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
