You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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