i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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