i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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