Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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