3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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