life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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