And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
