im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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