I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
