His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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