Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
