Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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