What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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