I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
