Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
