Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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