WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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