My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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