He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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