Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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