alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You pole danced in your parka.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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