Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
