the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
