I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
