just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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