Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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