38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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