I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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