I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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