she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
