i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
