Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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