I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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