And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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