Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
