Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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