From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
