My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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