she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
