Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
