Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
